Determination

Yesterday I was in line at Hy-Vee and the lady in front of me looked so familiar. It was one of those moments where you know you know someone, but can't figure out why, let alone remember what his/her name is.  It finally dawned on me and I had to say something to her so I approached her.  "I know you don't remember me, but you visited me nearly every day while I was in the hospital on bed rest."  She did remember me and immediately asked about the twins.  I filled her in, complete with recent pictures, (as any proud mom would do), and thanked her for visiting me and praying for me during that difficult time.

She is a member of St. Pius Church in Urbandale and brought me Communion and prayed with me nearly every day of those three weeks of hospital bed rest.  The few times she wasn't able to come, another member of the church was there.  I remember the first day I was offered Communion and prayers-I was sad and upset with the situation I was in, and worried about the little ones inside me.  I was seriously doubting my faith.  Day after day, I received Communion and prayers and it became part of my routine, (which is very important when you are lying in bed 23 hours a day-I'm sure I spent at least an hour a day using the bathroom as I went ALL the time!).

It is hard to believe that a year ago, I was in the hospital, staring at the same four walls for three weeks. I spent a total of 9.5 weeks on bed rest and let me tell you, it was not easy!  Many people think that lying in bed all day would be fabulous, but really it can make you crazy!  It takes a physical, emotional, and spiritual toll on you.  Physically, I lost a lot of muscle mass and just walking up the stairs once a day was challenging-I'm sure carrying two babies didn't help either.  Emotionally, as a thinker/worrier that is all I did ALL day long.  I worried about all of the things I still needed to get done before the babies came, how early would they be born and would they have any health conditions, and the stress Justin was under being a single parent taking care of Alena.  Besides doing her hair every day, I was very limited in her care, (dads should take a hair class before having a daughter :)).  I was lucky to have a lot of visitors, not every day, but most days of the week so I would at least have someone else to converse with.  While in the hospital, I learned that bed rest had also taken a spiritual toll on me and I often thought "why me?"   But every morning I would wake up, grateful to have kept my little ones growing a little longer, and thanking God.  A couple times in the middle of the night, they were having difficulty stopping  my contractions and I remember being so scared I was going to deliver that night, all alone.  But somehow, the sun would rise and I would realize I had made it to another day.  I tried to remember that God only gives us what we can handle...

My parents have always said that I am a very determined person.  They will tell the story about when I was 3-4 years old and still sucking my thumb.  One day my mom asked me "when are you going to stop sucking your thumb?"  I told her I was going to stop that day, and I never sucked my thumb again. It also takes a lot of determination to train for a marathon (or 2) by yourself.  I am thankful this is an attribute I have, because it made my bed rest a little more manageable.