Guilty Pleasures

That's such a weird term, but I've realized lately I have a few of my own guilty pleasures that I'm going to divulge right here:

1.  I've lost count how long we have been without cable but as the months go by, I miss it less and less.  I watch one TV show each week, (when it's on, and the series is ending so what am I going to do now!?).  I've also watched the last two seasons of Bachelor and am ashamed I am currently watching this season as well.  I NEVER wanted to get sucked into this show because it just seems silly to me-you can't meet your wife/husband on a show like this.  I know there have been a few success stories but they are rare and the episodes are so staged it drives me crazy.  Two seasons ago, I watched one episode and couldn't stop watching, not because of the bachelor, but one of the lady friends who was vying for his attention caught my eye. I loved her strong personality and humor and of course she ended up being the next Bachelorette so I was "forced" in to watch her season too.  I'm being loyal to Iowa and watching the current season, but I'm already ready to be done.  The bachelor seems awkward on the episodes, the girls are embarrassing, and the bachelor keeps giving a rose to the crazy lady!  Unfortunately, without cable or DVR, I have to watch live TV, which means my entire family is watching the Bachelor with me this season.  AJ saddles right up to the TV because a little screen time is rare in our house and she will take advantage of it, even if it isn't something she wants to watch. Thankfully, the kids are in bed after the first hour, leaving me alone to watch the rest by myself.  I'm so embarrassed that I am another victim to this reality show.

2.  I do a lot of driving throughout the month and my trip down to Southern Iowa can get pretty long, especially because I leave the house at 5:30 AM now and need something to help keep me awake.  I've been an off and on fan of Taylor Swift and remember when she released her first single, "Tim McGraw." I'm sure nobody expected her to be as big as she is now.  I love her newest song on the radio, "Blank Space," and lately found myself checking all the radio stations to see if they were playing it when I was in the car. Last week, I decided to just go and buy her album.

Now I can listen to this song whenever I want and the rest of her album is quite good also-enough so that I didn't want to dose off this week during my drive.  She really seems to have a good head on her shoulders despite the amount of money she is raking in.  She's a great role model for teens and it's impressive that she writes all of her music.  I hope she decides to do another country album as I think her song writing is much better in that style of music.  We were born in the same decade so I don't feel so old buying her CD, right?.

3.  Sometimes after a crazy, long day at work, I will run to the store quick before heading home to get a few things.  By this time, I am so exhausted and often starving as I routinely see patients through lunch and may not realize until 2:00 that I didn't eat.  There have been a few instances where I will grab a Kit-Kat or pack of peanut M and M's while standing in the check out line, and enjoy them in my car before I go home.  Definitely a guilty pleasure and I often regret this indulgence the next day!

How Do You Know?

How do you know when your family is complete?  Did you and your spouse have a set number of children you decided on shortly after getting married?  Did you want an even number?  An odd number?  A boy and a girl?  Or did you keep having children until you had both genders?  Maybe you stopped at one because you felt your family was complete?  Possibly, your last pregnancy and delivery was rough and you made the choice that you were done bearing children.

But what does a "complete" family really mean?  Do women all of a sudden realize their family is exactly as they envisioned and decide they need no more children?  When do you come to this realization?

I know many mothers who held their last child shortly after giving birth, gazed into that little one's eyes and just KNEW that this was it.  This child in their arms completed their family.  Many others have a son and daughter and decide that's perfect; one of each and no need for a third.  Others want as many children as they are able to have, and many believe that He will determine how many children will enter their family.

Many would think that after having one, then twins, (+ a rocky pregnancy), would immediately tell me that our family is complete.  That was absolutely not the case.  It wasn't until recently that I finally had that "complete" family feeling.  (I'll leave out the exact moment that enabled me to come to this realization).

For the past two years, I've wondered about having another.  For me, it's difficult knowing that I will never be pregnant again.  Even with all the complications I experienced the second go around, I loved being pregnant.  I will never have an infant to take care of again; to rock, to nurse, to nap with.  I will miss watching those first year milestones be met: First smiles, laughs, rolls, crawls, solid food and steps.

Yet, recently I've come to the realization that I love where things are right now, and even though I won't experience those firsts with another child, there are many other firsts that occur as your children grow.
First somersault, first written letter of the alphabet, first swimming lesson, first day at school, first sleep over, etc.  There is so much ahead of us!

In a way, I'm glad the twins are past some of these early stages of life.  The fact that they can communicate with us, learn to control their emotions and will hopefully be potty trained in the near future are huge!  I'm looking forward to this next stage of parenting.  A stage where you can really learn a lot about each child, form a relationship with him/her, watch them grow into little adults, see them participate in sports, watch them fail and succeed and be there every step of the way:  Laughing together, crying together, dancing together, cuddling together and just BEING together.

Life Changing Moments

With the year ending, I've recently starting reflecting on how I ended up where I am.  What shaped who I have become?  What will I face in the future that will have an impact on my life?

Below are my life changing moments:

1.  This moment helped shaped my current career:  I remember visiting my uncle in the hospital after a knee replacement.  I was in 6^th or 7^th grade at the time.  His nurse came into his room to put him into the Continuous Ambulatory Machine to help with his mobility.  She listened to his heart and lungs and asked if there was anything else he needed. I left that hospital room knowing that I wanted to be a nurse.  Prior to even starting nursing school, I knew I would want to advance my degree to be a Nurse Practitioner. 

2.   My grandfather’s passing:  I have been fortunate that I haven’t lost many close friends or relatives in my 34 years, but the passing of my grandfather still remains so fresh in my memory.  He was the only grandparent I knew.  It was one of the first times I can remember seeing my mother, aunts, uncles and cousins crying.  The firing of three volleys still brings chills to me when I think back to that day.  At a young age, I learned that our days on earth are not limitless; appreciate each morning you wake up to.

3.   Becoming A Mother:  This is probably on every parent’s list because it is, without doubt, one of the biggest life changing moments anyone can experience.  You leave the hospital with this little bundle of joy, full of mixed emotions.  While it is absolutely one of the happiest moments I have ever had, that quickly gets overshadowed by anxiety and nervousness; a need to be the perfect mother.  After having a child, you not only learn how to care for someone who is entirely dependent on you, but you learn a lot about yourself through the process.  If you thought you were the most patient person, you will quickly realize you are not.  You will fail many, many times.  You will cry, you may scream, and you WILL be exhausted.  Yet, you’ll never meet anyone who didn't love being a parent.  Becoming a mother or father will definitely change you, your relationship with your spouse and even your relationship with your own parents.

4.  Iowa City:  Many things happened during my seven years living in this city and I’m so thankful I made the choice to get my education there, (much against my parent’s wishes, probably).  In my very first college class, Rhetoric, I met the sweetest person ever, who became like a sister to me.  I’m so thankful for her friendship back then and today.  Although Justin and I actually met in Ames, we re-connected in Iowa City during a couple visits he made to the campus while I was in my first semester there. 

5.  September 6^th, 2011:  This was a life changing day for Justin and I; one of those days where you remember exactly where you were, what you were wearing and what you were doing.  On this day we heard the news that would shock us to our core.  When someone you care for so much is given this news, your way of thinking changes immediately.  Your long to-do list, and many annoyances you notice in life are forgotten.  You forget about the future and live in the present.  I often find myself thinking otherwise, but just remembering this day forces me to change my mind set.

6.   “There’s Two”:  Seeing two little embryos on the screen would be life changing to anyone.  I remember not knowing how to react-scream, cry, laugh, faint, swear.  It took about two weeks for it to all sink in and before I had convinced myself that everything would be OK.  There have been some very challenging moments but those are overshadowed by the thousands of fun, happy times.  I love being a mother to twins-in fact, it’s sad that many strangers don’t realize I have twins.  (While at soccer practice with AJ, a mother asked me what the age difference was between my youngest two.  Eleven minutes, I replied, while staring at her confused look). 

7.  26.2 Miles:  Training and finishing a marathon challenges you in many ways.  You spend hours and hours running early in the morning or after the kids go to sleep to help maximize your time with them.  Your Saturday mornings are taken over by running 10-18 miles each weekend, no matter where you are.  You constantly have to be your own coach, pushing yourself to get through the next mile, ignoring the ache in your knee or your lungs.  You worry constantly about avoiding injury because how devastating would it be to put in 3 months of training to not even be able to get to the starting line?  During the race itself, you are tested the entire way.  You have to be completely in tune to your mind, body and soul, placing one foot in front of the others, using the crowd and cowbells along the way to give you extra strength.  Running my first marathon in Des Moines with my family cheering for me at various places along the route and seeing them at the finish line was exhilarating.  If you've never experienced crossing the finish line after running 26.2 miles, it’s impossible to explain the euphoria you feel, (and how challenging walking down a set of stairs can be days after the race).

What events have influenced your life?  Bring on 2015, (but please no more life changing moments for a while!).

A Few Of My Favorite Things

Lately I've found myself saying, "I am so glad I have this" or "What would I do without that?" So here are some of my absolute favorite things:

 1. I Pads - Seriously, this is the best invention ever. I love being able to do anything and everything on a computer that I can throw in my purse, bring in the car, or snuggle up on the couch with. We limit screen time with our little ones, (and usually hide them in the house), but there have been  many instances when our sanity was saved by this little invention.

 2. My Pineapple Corer/Cutter - Wish I would have found this years ago. It works so well and all the pineapple juice stays inside the pineapple, which means and I can easily pour it into the blender for a smoothie for the kids.

 3. Target Diapers - Yes, I know diapers. I have tried Pampers, Huggies, Wal-Mart, and Target. Not only are the Target diapers more affordable, (which is important when you have twice the diaper changes), but I have always been impressed with their absorbency. Plus, who doesn't love the cute polka dots?

 4. Heated Mattress Pad - This is another great invention. I love jumping into a bed that is nice and warm. I usually don't use the blanket at night, unless it's a really chilly night, but love to cuddle up with a book before bed on my warm mattress pad.

 5. Nutella - I wish I had never tried this. A couple years ago, at the downtown Farmer's Market, I had a crepe with Nutella and bananas and nearly peed my pants because of how good it was.  My only rule is I won't buy this to keep in the house, (because I would eat all of it), but if I can find something to purchase that includes this delicious chocolate spread, I'm all in!

6. Baby Gap - Their clothes hold up so well and are appropriately sized. Plus, everything in that store is adorable!  My new favorites are their snug tight jammies and their socks, which wear better than any other sock my kids have worn!

 7. My Honda Odyssey - (Yes, I know I have mentioned this before in my blog!).  If you asked me 5 years ago if I would ever be a mini van owner, I would have said NO WAY! I have to admit, I love our van.  All kiddos can climb in and out without trouble.  Someone have a dirty diaper? No problem, we can pull over and change them in the back of the van (which we have done many times). Going somewhere with Grandma and Papa? Pile in, we can all fit! We bought this van thinking we would be interested in selling it in 3 years-we may have to rethink that.

 8. Shutterfly Photo Books - What a great way to organize photos over the years. You can spend hours picking out the perfect background, photo arrangement, and embellishments, or let Shutterfly do it all. I've never been disappointed.  Plus there are always discounts available!  I make one yearly for each kid after their birthday and I hope years down the road they will be glad I did.

9.  Saucony Running Shoes - Years ago, I called these the "old people brand."  Now I'm proud to wear Saucony on my feet. I have had two pairs now and love them over any other brand I have tried.  I'm hoping to get many more miles out of my current pair.

10.  The Fresh 20 Meal Plan - See previous post for details.  What a great idea full of healthy, yummy recipes.

11.  Pumpkin Spice Lattes at Starbucks - I don't even like coffee and always get decaf, but this is delicious.  Good thing they aren't available year-round.

12.  Leggings - 10 years from now I'll probably read this thinking, what the hell?!  I wore leggings?  But seriously, who doesn't love throwing on a pair of leggings and heading out the door for the day. You can dress them up or down, wear them with boots or flats, a skirt or dress, a long shirt or sweater.  Plus I love comfort and for me, this is more comfortable than anything else I could wear.

13.  Cross Over Purses - Again, this was always thought of as a "mom" purse, well I guess after 5 years of being a mom, I have decided this is the purse for me now, (at least when I'm out and about with the clan in tow).  When you add more than one child to your family, this type of purse is valuable.  I can contain my herd without my purse constantly sliding off my shoulder or a little one pulling it off.  Free hands=quicker shopping/less chance for meltdowns!  Yippee!

14. Keepy App - I came across this app by accident. My kids do art projects nearly daily at daycare and trot through the door with these projects in their hands each evening.  My fridge quickly became full of the "keepers" and the others usually ended up in the recycling bin after every one was tucked in for the night.  After a few weeks of staring at the ones on the fridge, they either joined the others in the recycling bin, or if they were REALLY good, became part of that child's scrapbook. I finally decided I wanted to do something else with the artwork that isn't scrapbook material so I downloaded this FREE app.  I have a "folder" for each child and a picture of the artwork is uploaded into each folder.  You can add notes/comments, share with friends or family members, or save and print off at a later time.  You can also upload videos.  Each one is dated and it's fun to look through previous works of art.  There is a component you can pay for but I honestly don't know what that includes. I don't need any more features than what I have.

15.  Vitamin D - At least weekly I recommend vitamin D supplementation to one of my patients. The benefits are countless and medical journals are frequently publishing new articles indicating the effects of low vitamin D levels.  Like many other providers, I never took my own advice.  I would predict at least 80% of us are vitamin D deficient and need a supplement, especially during the winter months, (unfortunately most insurance companies will not pay for a vitamin D level).  I finally caved and started taking a supplement.  Just after a couple weeks, I started to notice a difference in my energy level and other benefits.  Hopefully it's more than just a placebo effect, but I plan on continuing.

Last but not least...

16.  Coconut Oil - Another item I wish I would have known about years ago.  The uses of coconut oil are numerous and I have tried many of them.  It can be used for cooking, as a hair product, to remove cradle cap, as a diaper cream, as a lotion, to whiten and remove bacteria from teeth, for dandruff...The more virgin and unrefined, the better. So the next time you are at the store, pick some up.

Hot, Hot Hot

With family get togethers, full time daycare, and winter months, comes sickness.  Unfortunately, the last few weeks, and most recently this last week, we have had our share of illnesses in the twins.  I’m going to regret writing this, but Alena has been so healthy.   I honestly can’t remember the last time she was sick with even a cold.  I think she got it all over with her first few years of life, (which is one bonus of full time daycare I suppose).   

Fever:  1: A rise of body temperature above the normal;  2:  A state of heightened or intense emotion or activity.

If only the twin’s fever meant the latter…

No matter what credentials you have behind your name, when your little one has a fever, you are in full on mom-mode and forget about everything you learned in school.  Yes, I know a fever, (or pyrexia or febrile response-whatever fancy word you want to use), is a sign that your body is trying to fight a virus or bacterial infection and means your body is doing what it is supposed to do.  It’s a natural defense method, but honestly all I want to do when my child has a fever is get it down as fast as possible.  I know how horrible I feel with a fever and can’t imagine how helpless they feel; not knowing what is making them so miserable.

Since Thanksgiving Day, the little guy has had a fever off and on ranging from 100 to just below 104.  He’s been swabbed for influenza twice and strep throat once, all negative.  I've given him more Tylenol and Ibuprofen than I ever thought I would give a child in their lifetime, all the while praying he doesn't go into acute kidney injury!  (A con of the aforementioned credentials behind my name).  Even after he broke out in a rash which I immediately knew was roseola, he continued to run a fever.  The poor thing just has a stubborn virus that won’t go away.

This past Sunday morning, when little missy woke up smoking hot and a temp of nearly 104 degrees, I couldn’t help but think, “what the H-E-double hockey sticks!?”  My mom is always quick to remind me of the febrile seizures I experienced when I was 18 months old.  We were all in the car driving to my dad’s office when my brother spoke up saying, “There’s something wrong with Jess?”  Seeing me shaking in my seat, my dad immediately headed to the ER at Mary Greeley Hospital where I spent 5 days, postponing our family vacation to Minnesota.  I can’t fathom how scary that must have been and this mom gets so nervous when I see the numbers on the thermometer elevate much above 103, as febrile seizures are genetic. 

Knowing the growing number of influenza cases in the state, I wanted to bypass taking the twins to the Urgent Care.  However, as I held a listless little girl who wouldn’t eat or drink a thing I knew I had no other option.  We packed the whole family up and headed to one nearby Urgent Care that had a 2 hour wait.  Unless it is an emergency, you won’t catch me sitting in a waiting room of an Urgent Care for 2 hours during influenza season.  So we headed to the next Urgent Care that was going to open in 5 minutes.  There were a few people standing outside in line so Justin hopped out to hold our spot in line.  While waiting for our names to be called, patients kept coming and coming and coming. It was nearly standing room only and I couldn't wait to get out of there!  

A little over an hour later we left with two negative influenza swabs, 6 stickers, 3 blown up gloves, 1 additional glove for A to wear as Elsa, and one ear infection.  Not too bad.  Let’s hope that influenza virus didn't jump on us on our way out!  

Some Day

Years from now, I will look back and wish I was able to go back in time, slow things down, and just enjoy EVERY single second.

Some day, I will miss having little ones eat off my plate.  I won't have sticky hands to wash or milk cups to fill.  I will be able to sit down to eat, but I'll miss getting up multiple times during the meal for refills or seconds.

One day, I'll miss having someone to push on the swing at the park.  No one will want to play ring around the rosy or other silly games I invent.  Hide n seek will be "childish" and walks with mom will be embarrassing.

Strollers, cribs, pack n plays, and high chairs will be replaced with new tennis shoes, toddler beds and dining room chairs.  They will request to eat off adult plates, with adult silverware, and adult cups. Sippy cups and all their parts will be no more.

Some day I'll have to actually set an alarm clock, and not depend on my little ones to wake me up. I'll yearn for bedtime stories, goodnight kisses, and one-more-hugs.

There will come a day when our weekend plans will not revolve around nap time.

I will miss seeing the excitement on their faces when I pick them up from school, and the tight little hugs they give during our reunification.  I will be woebegone the first time they aren't excited to see me.

One day, I'll be sad when I no longer pick up arts and crafts material from their cubicles daily, and my refrigerator will be bare.  I'll miss their scribbled notes, made up words, stick people and hand-print art.

There will come a day when I'll take their shoes off, expecting to find a load of sand, only to realize they no longer enjoy this basic childhood activity.

Some day they won't want mom or dad to tuck them in, read them a story or kiss them goodnight.  They will be reading to themselves and dodging the pecks we try to give them.

One day, they will be too big to carry, too heavy to lift up, and they will no longer reach their hands up requesting "ups."  They won't hold my hand when we're walking or request piggy back rides.  I won't be able to rock them like a baby before laying them in their beds.

No longer will I be able to choose their clothes, their shoes, their hairstyles, their accessories.  Bath time will be non-existent, and bath toys thrown away.

We are all so anxious to see our little ones grow up, but right now I'm going to savor all of these little things, because it won't be like this for long.

Getting Into the Spirit

I’m really trying my best to get in the holiday spirit this year.  Not being in your own home makes it incredibly challenging but I've had many reminders that this isn't for my enjoyment for for my little ones.  Many of my patients have said “your twins are going to have so much fun this Christmas season,” so I’m remembering that this is really for them.  Plus, years from now they may look back and say “remember the Christmas in Uncle Will Will’s house?,” (or a least I hope it will be memorable).

Thanksgiving started off with a bang:  My favorite holiday is quickly becoming the holiday I dread. Three years ago Justin was ill, (later found out it was a bowel obstruction), last year we were in CO where a very contagious GI bug was spread through the house, and this year, C woke up Thanksgiving morning with a fever and loss of stomach contents multiple times!  Thankfully, he felt better later on so ended up making the trek up to Ames for the festivities. 

We picked out and cut down our tree later on Thanksgiving. I LOVE fir trees but rarely get one because there aren’t many planted; (in fact maybe we've never had one?).  With minimal space this year for a tree, we needed a narrow tree and this little guy was perfect, (plus they always look smaller out in the field!).  Sunday morning the kids helped us decorate, while still in their jammies.  The girls did a great job hanging the ornaments on the tree while C mostly tried to play with them and take them off. 

There’s always the debate about whether you go real or fake.  Obviously, I know nothing other than real and hope to always have a real tree. I understand why many people don’t-cost ($45 for a tree!), maintenance (watering and needles everywhere that are noticeable until there are gifts under the tree), and the mess of taking it down, but I can’t imagine doing it any other way.  In the future, I can see myself also having a fake tree in another location of the house-we have SO many ornaments. The kids have their own ornaments, some homemade, and receive a new one each year from Grandma. Plus Justin and I have our ornaments from when we were kids, and from our travels and time BC (before children).

3 smiles and 3 faces-quite a rare feat

Goodies:  I love baking and am glad the kids like helping as well. We haven’ t made much yet but hope to have more time soon. It’s also become a tradition to make sugar cookies with Grandma and Papa so hopefully we can fit that in. 

Pretty sure more sprinkles ended up in his tummy than on the cookies

Elf On The Shelf:  What has your elf been up to?  Ours has been quite naughty.  I am starting to really enjoy this tradition. My mom first told me about Elf On The Shelf shortly after I had AJ and I thought it sounded weird.  Now, it’s fun to see the kids get into it. The twins are still a little young to know what’s going on and do NOT understand that Elfie is not a toy.  One day I caught C swinging poor Elfie around and throwing him in the air.  Yikes, he probably lost quite a bit of magic that day!  So far I’ve only forgotten to “pose” him one evening but quickly recovered before AJ came down the stairs.

Christmas Lists:  AJ and her cousins went to see Santa last weekend and brought him their lists. He read each one carefully.  Needless to say, Alena may be a little disappointed on Christmas morning when she doesn’t have everything on her list, (or hardly any of it!).  I’ve never heard her mention wanting any of the electronics she wrote on her list so I blame her cousin for giving her those ideas!  These girls may give us a run for our money as they grow up. 

Sledding:  Two days in a row last week we hit the hill by the Clive Aquatic Center for a little sledding. I’m not sure who had more fun, the adults or the kids!  I can’t wait to go back again! 

Shopping:  I spent the afternoon shopping with my mom today.  It was a good reminder why I did more online shopping this year than I ever have.  The mall wasn't horribly busy but I was disappointed I didn't find what I was looking for.  The first wrapped gifts were placed under the tree tonight.  Any guesses how long it takes before a twin tries to break into one of them?

(I couldn't resist posting this cute pic of my middle child in her big girl undies and daddy's hat)