How Do You Know?

How do you know when your family is complete?  Did you and your spouse have a set number of children you decided on shortly after getting married?  Did you want an even number?  An odd number?  A boy and a girl?  Or did you keep having children until you had both genders?  Maybe you stopped at one because you felt your family was complete?  Possibly, your last pregnancy and delivery was rough and you made the choice that you were done bearing children.

But what does a "complete" family really mean?  Do women all of a sudden realize their family is exactly as they envisioned and decide they need no more children?  When do you come to this realization?

I know many mothers who held their last child shortly after giving birth, gazed into that little one's eyes and just KNEW that this was it.  This child in their arms completed their family.  Many others have a son and daughter and decide that's perfect; one of each and no need for a third.  Others want as many children as they are able to have, and many believe that He will determine how many children will enter their family.

Many would think that after having one, then twins, (+ a rocky pregnancy), would immediately tell me that our family is complete.  That was absolutely not the case.  It wasn't until recently that I finally had that "complete" family feeling.  (I'll leave out the exact moment that enabled me to come to this realization).

For the past two years, I've wondered about having another.  For me, it's difficult knowing that I will never be pregnant again.  Even with all the complications I experienced the second go around, I loved being pregnant.  I will never have an infant to take care of again; to rock, to nurse, to nap with.  I will miss watching those first year milestones be met: First smiles, laughs, rolls, crawls, solid food and steps.

Yet, recently I've come to the realization that I love where things are right now, and even though I won't experience those firsts with another child, there are many other firsts that occur as your children grow.
First somersault, first written letter of the alphabet, first swimming lesson, first day at school, first sleep over, etc.  There is so much ahead of us!

In a way, I'm glad the twins are past some of these early stages of life.  The fact that they can communicate with us, learn to control their emotions and will hopefully be potty trained in the near future are huge!  I'm looking forward to this next stage of parenting.  A stage where you can really learn a lot about each child, form a relationship with him/her, watch them grow into little adults, see them participate in sports, watch them fail and succeed and be there every step of the way:  Laughing together, crying together, dancing together, cuddling together and just BEING together.